Wednesday, December 28, 2011

2011 Book List

I work so hard to read a book a week. I've accomplished it once. It happened last year and need I say that I was over the moon that I reached my goal.  It was a huge Goal Achieved!


I have however learned what holds me back. My real struggle is I don't like speed reading. Even technical books I find whole passages that inspire me and I want to write them down. That's my second problem, to really get something I find I have to write it down, so I do. I will copy, with pen and paper, entire passages that speak to me. Yeah, this really holds me back from reading that one book week. It's a constant tug of war over finishing a book a week and letting myself get absorbed in the read.



Here's what I meandered through this 2011. Check out 2010 Book list here.

1. Boys of Grit Who Became Men of Honor ~Archer Wallace
2. Pride & Prejudice ~Jane Austen
3. Real Citizenship ~Tim Echols
4. What he Must be if he wants to Marry my Daughter ~Voddie Baucham
5. Made to Crave ~Lysa Terkeurst
6. Florence Young ~Janet & Geoff Benge
7. Radical ~David Platt
8. The Cat of Bubastes ~G.A. Henty
9. One Thousand Gifts ~Ann Voskamp
10. George Muller ~Janey & Geoff Benge
11. How God used a Snowdrift ~Diane Kleyn
12. Becoming a Woman of Simplicity ~Cynthia Heald
13. Unshaken ~Dan Wooley
14. Choosing to See ~Marybeth Chapman
15. The Hidden Hand ~E.D.E.N. Sothworth
16. Weird ~Craig Groeschel
17. Letters from the Land of Cancer ~Walter Wangerin Jr.
18. Foreign to Familiar ~Sarah A. Lanier
19. The Way of the Heart ~Henri J.M. Nouwen
20. Modern Parents Vintage Values ~Trevathan & Goff
21. Weapons of Mass Instruction ~John Taylor Gatto
22. Preparing for Jesus ~Walter Wangerin Jr.
23. Already Compromised ~Ken Hamm
24. Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild ~Mary Kassian

It's tough to pick a favorite because all these reads run in different directions. I love "The Hidden Hand". I've read it twice myself and then out loud to the kids. Recently they asked if I could read it to them again. It's just that good.

I'm excited to see what's on your books. Thanks Nesting Place for Hosting us!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

2011 Christmas Tour


When the heart of the home is solid it doesn't matter the size of the rooms or when they were constructed, the season of Christmas comes through.




We downsized. A journey that continues to amaze and getting Merry Christmas into this little house proves a delight. It busts at the seams, this cheery little domicile.




Finding a place to hide away a Christmas present is impossible but belly laughs abound and we as a family are bound. Our hearts knitted tighter thanks to a tighter environment.



A blessed result of a crazy act and with our first teen we rejoice at every late night chat on the couch. Throw in the Christmas lights and it's childhood magic all over again.




Like Mary, our lives have been interrupted. May your find your moment at the manger. May you choose a life of divine interruption. May your Christmas be All that is Merry and Bright.




Thanks always to The Nestor for her lovely Christmas Tour of Homes. Go take a peek.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

When You Know the Answer

All roads collide into one. The many lives that dwell, live, weave throughout my everyday, well, they have this tendency to merge, they take the same exit all at the same time. Birthdays fall, illness slams, jobs need, husbands travel, children require and I feel helpless to control and I can't help but think it. You think it. You're thinking it right now,
"Why?"
"Why does it all happen at once?"


I embarked on this journey, a journey to be a disciple. Many years I lived my life and didn't think too much about what it meant to be a disciple. I went my merry way. But life has this tendency to get hard, real hard. I was drowning in the dysfunction of trying to function on my merry own. I lifted my head to find I didn't look too much like a disciple of that man, Jesus Christ. So, I took a deep breath and I committed to His way, not mine. Sincerely I asked that He be glorified, not me.

On the phone to the traveling man. He's weary, I'm weary. We chat out our day and the above question comes up, the "Why all at once?" question. I just shake my head. I shake because I know the answer.


It happens all at once because right now I'm drowning in my desire for perfection, but not His perfection, not His glory but my own. If it didn't all happen at once I could take it for myself, I would take it for myself. That's what this human, arrogant nature of mine longs for. It longs to bring glory to itself and God let's all of life collide and the weight is heavy and I sink to my knees begging to trade burdens. The stubborn heart takes too long to succumb to the load. There on my knees I find a lighter load, amazingly I find a peaceful heart.


My arrogant heart is changed. I am made wise to my weakness and wise to His strength. This wisdom changes my whole outlook. This girl remembers the point of being a creation and no longer laments with her "Why" questions.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Absorbing Today

It's a time to be sponge like. Absorb every moment, live wide awake for every event. The brevity of life has been highlighted in vivid hues. Moonlight revealed the gossamer thread. Its frailty is felt to the core. We hold tighter, we hug longer.

Patience is a virtue we love, because by it, we show our love.

As a family we've gone through a wringer, 'oft times one of our own making, and yet by God's grace and clinging to His guidance we each found our way back.

How grateful am I for breadcrumbs always leading back, back to being a family, back to Christ. We've had our moments, moments of stolen crumbs and one of our own wandered in woods. Never would they wander long. We launch rescue missions here.


Sometimes, more times than we should, we launch out of our own devising. The rescue team often ends wandering lost. Frustration, pain, misunderstanding, standard responses when the wanderer and the rescue team find themselves on dark deserted roads that lead to lonely places. But this little family tossing about on a stormy night has seen it's northern star, its immovable compass, its faithful search and rescue God. Each and every time He has led them home.


So it is together, as a family that we hold the hand of our "Dad" our "Papa" our "Tim" as he feels pain and wrestles each day on this broken, spinning globe. His courage is inspiring, his desire to just "BE" in our presence let's us know we are loved, valued. We move mountains to be with him and experience that knowledge. His painful cancer is being lived to show love.

Grateful for every day, and....

*Adventures that are super scary and push me out of comfort into unknown places

*Getting Dad a Frosty

*The Man believes in my abilities, even when I'm a skeptic

*Children, motivated, striving for maturity.

*Giving up the idea of carrying on my bags and just packing what I need.

*Amazing women I get to know and dwell alongside.

*That the laptop has some life left in it.

*Knowing that no matter how it all goes that God can work through any kind of mess I make of it.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Learning to Run

We didn't make it easy on her but how could I know all that God would squeeze into three short months.


Grammie planted the idea. She went on a Summer Adventure and her Grammie, whose always listening, always reading for new wisdom to deliver to her sons, their spouses and of course those beloved grand babes. Well she heard about it and then heard about a book written by a sweet girl who made it to Nationals.


Grammie bought the book and Girlie #2 devoured it. Home but a day when she finished  the read and came in my office late to find me on the website. She wanted to do it. I was  frantically researching what it entailed. What does it require of her, me, the family. We had to make a rush decision because we just happened to be on the site the last day of registration. Not only the last day but within hours of closing on the last day. I paid the $30 entrance fee and Girlie #2 became a contestant in the Junior Division of the National Bible Bee.


It's designed as a Family Discipleship. The entire family works through a book of the Bible. The contestants have a stack of 250 Bible verses to memorize. I had grand plans to sit around the table studying God's word, instead we encouraged her in the airport while we waited for our plane to the Dominican Republic. She dutifully lugged her study material, Strong's Concordance and that big stack of verses all over that tiny island,  but still she fell behind and I felt like I let her fall. Then we arrived home with plans to catch up.



Instead we had to pack boxes and load trucks and find a new place to dwell. I worked hours learning a new job when I wanted to be drilling her on verses We all encouraged her and she gasped at the work load but continued to press on.


In our new abode, boxes piled everywhere, school started and unexpectedly her beloved Papa is admitted into the hospital. Focus is shifted, loved ones are cared for and that little Girlie runs so hard to keep up. When Papa's hospital stay goes from days to weeks she tells me in tears how far she is lagging in her run. How can I help her run this race?

She decides if she sits at his side, next to him in the hospital room she can work the lessons of 1 Peter and maybe she can catch up. So she does. For days I drop my sweet 10 year old daughter at MD Andersen Cancer Center. She hefts that pink camouflage backpack up the elevator. The straps are begining to give way to the overload of weight in the form of John Gills writings, Strongs's Concordance and her bulky Sword Study binder. She sits at the side of her ailing Grandfather and delves into God's word.  There is a guilt over not holding her hand more as she runs, but I am brought to tears at the image of my girl studying in the presence of her heavenly Father as she gently, lovingly sits at her Grandfather's side.

The date of the local bee arrives. She is nervous, It has arrived too quickly. We all go to cheer her on. Up at 6 a.m. to make it to the competition on time. Her heart is racing but her presence is that of peace. I'm already so proud.


First up the written test. The competitiors head to the testing room. We wait, for an hour, biting my nails and praying and she returns with sad news. She didn't realize there was a second side and took too long on the first side. She ran out of time and that meant 30 questions unanswered. Her shoulders slumped a bit. The Man and I encouraged, reminded we are so proud, no matter the outcome.

On to the oral test. 10 minutes, 25 verses randomly chosen from the stack of 250. The Man and I follow her into the room sitting in  the back. The time starts and I watch her shoulders fall as she says, "Pass, Pass, Pass" to verse after verse. One judge pulls her baseball cap down over her eyes, she cannot look at the crestfallen competitor. I understand her body language, it speaks of right before the tears begin to fall. I can hear the quiver in my girl's voice. I'm praying hard. My girl's stumbling to the finish line and all I can do is ask the Holy Spirit to carry her the final steps in this race she's chosen to run.

She recites a couple verses but as soon as the time is up her body collapses into a full slump. The tears flow. She ran her heart out, she is disappointed with how she finished. The Man and I envelope her. Our hearts break at the sound of her sobs and even the judges tears are flowing.

I take her into the ladies room and I remind her, remind her of the eternal verses earthly. We pray. The Holy Spirit gives me words beyond my own understanding and she is comforted, but still disappointed. She wished she did more, regrets of how she spent her time My heart is exploding with pride over this girl and her race. She wipes up her face, puts on a smile and heads to the waiting room to play checkers with the other competitiors/newfound friends.


All the staff disappears to tally scores. We fellowship with the families present, enjoying sandwhiches and ice cream. Her tears are forgotten. All the competitors sit together to hear the outcome of this amazing race. They start with the Senior Division. Girlie #2 claps and cheers for the sole competitior. Now the scores of the Junior Division. The announcer is looking at her list. She starts with First Place. The name she calls is familiar, I am in shock, The Man is in shock but the oldest sister is cheering and our Girlie #2 sits stunned.

"Me, did you call me?" she points to herself.


All present had seen the tears, all present were excited, applauding. It seems, though she missed those last 30 questions, she scored almost perfect on her written test. Time spent in a hospital at the side of one she loved had been blessed. The Holy Spirit granted wisdom and knowledge when she asked for it. She won First Place. Her sweet, humble little heart took my breath away.



Now, we wait, wait for three days to see if her scores are enough to earn a spot competing in Nashville, Tennessee on the National level. She would love one of those spots but either way she has learned how to run, not looking to the left or right but just dead on, running only for an eternal prize.

I'm so proud of my Girl!


Numberless Counting since I packed my Gratitude Journal:

Grateful to watch my children run races and get to help them run well.

Friends who bring me silly candies that make me laugh til I cry.

Children growing in their love for their God.

The Man shoulders stand square and his burden is less.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A little side Job


I often  forget to talk about this side of my life. I have a friend and when I talk about my plate full she always reminds me, "Don't forget, you have your job too."

How do I forget this?

Maybe it starts with not really looking at it as a job. I talk to Moms and Dads. The kind that love their kids and sacrifice. The kind that know how to "Do Hard Things" and then take it that next step to push their offspring to follow suit. These parents inspire and encourage me. Often I find myself at my desk researching more, reading one more article, understanding one more detail about critical thinking, CLEP tests and  how to make it all work because I want to better serve these amazing, inspiring parents.


I've been doing this little side job since 2008.  It's such a pleasure working with CollegePlus! and CollegePrep!. I play several roles in the community and I'm currently training for two new positions. It's crazy in the most fun, energizing and creative way.


I wrote an ebook here recently. It explains the details of Dual Credit. It's a hazy world this high school/college stuff and when you throw in the homeschool dynamic, well, it can make your head swim and palms sweat. My goal with this little book, put hearts & minds at ease. I want to thank all those who've read. I pray you have been encouraged and maybe some of mystery of academia has been lifted.

If you'd like to read please download a copy here.




If you have read I'd love to hear your comments. Like I said I'm always digging to know more and hearing what I've left unsaid or what inspired you is HUGE to my always learning brain.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Bubbling Joy

The Lord, has provided, not just my physical needs but emotionally.  I decided to wait on him and found at ever step, he has provided every little bit I need. Every physical and emotional need to get me through this task, at this moment, on this given day. It has restored rapture to my heart and we dine again with glee.

Somehow.

No, Christ-is-How.

We have been thrust into hard stuff and we have found delight in our moment by moment journey.

Lord, You are God.

In my life I have made things happen and done the things I said I was going to do. But, it was forced and it was of me. Lifeless. Only the giver of life can bubble joy in the midst of chaos. He spoke order into chaos, but how dense am I that I miss this little tidbit. I declare myself a demi-god and believe with enough work, enough effort, a can-do attitude I can "get 'er done". A lot of times I do but the skies turn gray because I'm no god. When I step into my place, be the girl creation. Bask in my creator's presence. In those moments, he puts the stars in order, aligns the planets and produces a little yellow house for us to call home.


All the while my heart is placed in his hands. I have to slap my own each time I reach to take it back. At this moment it's resting so securely that it begins to rest. I take deeper calming breaths and they bubble up as belly laughter. Soothing to those around me and my very presence becomes one of peace. My heart screams, "Folks, it's not me, just a side affect of a loving creator!".

He loves you too.  Put your heart in his hands and find peace today.


Counting today:

Peace amongst the cardboard and vacant spaces

Friends who'll help me sell my possessions at a Flea Market

Children with eyes changed and they part with their possessions as well

Learning to be me and only care what my God thinks of  her

Phone calls from Minnesota and a silly box brought her joy

Folks who get what we're up to and encourage us to press on

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

51 and Up

We've organzied events. We've hosted parties. There wasn't a mom present that didn't have experience adjusting resources for unexpected guests. We all felt frustrated that we didn't have a present count on our supplies. Continually we were asked how many? How many children could we host for this little VBS?
I think we all felt confused.
What do you mean 'how many'?
We will host all who come.


She had to look us in the eyes and explain, not once but several times over the course of the week, explain that no matter how much we had there wouldn't be enough. I shook my head in disbelief. I've never, ever not had enough. I've never cleaned up from a party and not had to pull out the ever ready and waiting tupperware to fill the frig with leftovers. I've never had to turn a guest away because of limited supplies.

She asked the 'how many' question again and again over the course of the week. The VBS we were hosting, being one of the last activities on our little missionary venture, kept getting pushed aside for more immediate activities. But the night before we realized we had to pull it all together and that meant getting a count of supplies. We had enough for 50. That's a lot and I believed we should be able to cover most who arrived.


She sat down and making purposeful eye contact to explain, once again, that there would be many children from the village they would bar from our VBS. "No matter how many supplies you bring, more will show. There is no way you could have brought enough for all to participate".

It really sank in the next morning.

We were ushered into the little church. We worshiped there Sunday morning. A cheery little place in the midst of poverty, exactly what a church should be. The windows and doors covered in wrought iron bars, I saw them as decoration even though I knew they served a good purpose, they kept out maurauders. This day they would prohibit entrance to numbers 51 and up.


As soon as we arrived children emerged. They swarmed the stairs of the church. We prepared and practiced as we waited for the church pastor. He would decide who gained entrance to this event. He granted golden tickets to the 50. He knows the people of this village and he lovingly makes these decisions. My heart relieved that the decision wasn't on my shoulders.



The event proved successful. The 50 watched our children sing, heard the salvation story and made salvation bracelets. They fought to sit near us, stroke our hair and have their picture taken. But, standing at the door, pressing in close to hear the stories and songs, barred numbers 51 and up. Their hands gripped tight the iron bars struggling to maintain their place. They stood on tiptoes to peek in the windows.


A painful and heart wrenching way to grasp more fully the beauty of God's salvation plan. No one is barred. There are no golden tickets for a select few. How loving my Creator. His heart broke with mine as his precious 51 and up stood on the outside, no entrance, no partaking of the fun brought by those desiring to be his hands and feet. I am humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude for such a loving God. He sent his child, his son and he swung that door wide so all my enter.


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